We have all had moments when our negative thoughts get the best of us. But sometimes we may find that we are starting to operate regularly on the side of negative thinking and are consistently preparing for the worst even in minor situations. We have crossed over into full-on catastrophizing as a way of thinking or, at least, something close. Living this way does not ever feel good even if we are not quite sure how to break out of the cycle. So, here are a few ideas for how you might start to turn the ship either on your own or with a helpful therapist.
Name Your Inner Drama Queen
Give your catastrophic thinking a ridiculous name like "Dramatic Dina." When your brain starts spiraling about someone not returning a text, you can literally say, "Oh, there goes Dina again, getting all worked up. I’m sure it will be fine, one way or another." You can do this on your own or can talk it through in therapy to help you realize that Dina is not really very reliable and can actually be a little over the top.
Assess the Likelihood
Start asking yourself, "What are the actual odds?" Is it more likely that your cough is a rare tropical disease, or that you have a common cold like 90% of humans who cough? We can entertain all kinds of rare scenarios but are they the best use of your time when the reality is that it probably is not so likely. Therapy can also help you star to treat your worst-case scenarios like lottery tickets—technically possible, but not worth planning your retirement around.
The "Best Friend Test"
Would you tell your best friend that their minor mistake in an email will ruin their entire professional reputation? If not, why are you telling yourself that? Truly think about what you would honestly tell a friend about a particular situation and then allow that advice for yourself. Your therapist can also help you develop and practice the same compassion for yourself that you'd show a friend, instead of treating yourself like a hostile witness in your own mental courtroom.
The "So What?" Technique
Sometimes the worst-case scenario happens, and then you discover it's not actually the end of the world. So what if you trip in public? So what if you say something awkward? Embracing your full humanness and the fact that life can be a little wonky is actually pretty powerful. Besides, most people are too busy thinking about their own lives to judge yours. Talking things out in therapy can also help you realize that surviving embarrassment is a superpower you already possess.
Practice the Art of "Probably Not"
When your brain suggests something terrible will happen, respond with "probably not" and move on with your day. It's like hanging up on a telemarketer—polite but firm. And sometimes it really is that simple. For many thoughts, you do not have to entertain them at all and can give yourself permission to just hang up on them or toss them aside. Saying things out loud in therapy and sometimes hearing them back can be good for realizing that you don't have to entertain every dramatic thought that knocks on your mental door.
Although our thoughts can seem to have a mind of their own, we actually have much more control over them than we realize. It is not always easy to start creating new thought patterns but it is very possible. Start practicing some of these tips and, over time, you will begin to realize that you have created new ways of thinking that are much less negative and catastrophic. If it feels as though you are not able to make much progress or it feels much harder than you expected, reach out to a therapist for support along your process.
