Someone recently asked me what self care practices do I discuss with clients that I also use for myself. I really appreciated the question as a way to check-in with myself regarding my own coping skills and thought I would share a list of a few that I feel are really helpful to me.
In reflecting, I remembered that some of my favorite techniques can be pretty common knowledge. A lot of them are straightforward and sharing them in therapy simply helps to remind clients of them and to troubleshoot any personal barriers they may have to utilizing them. That said, you may not find anything particularly groundbreaking in my list. But it may be some simple reminders of how accessible good self care can be at times. It will also note that I do not believe that good self care is really all that flashy. It can be basic things that, if we do them, make a real difference.
Walk
My favorite self care activity these days is a good ol’ mental health walk. I read a suggestion a while back to try taking walks without headphones and I gave it a try. I have not looked back. I love feeling unplugged for a bit of the day. I literally look at the trees and birds, people watch, and daydream. I envision it as running the washing machine on a “clean” or empty cycle to clear out dirt and buildup. My body is active and my mind is free to roam to wherever it likes. If my mind wanders someplace stressful, I give myself permission to let it go for, at least, the duration of the walk. It is my own personal version of a “clean cycle” and it really does help me feel more focused, energized, and calm.
Rest
Getting rest is another favorite self-care activity. Taking rest comes pretty easily for me these days. Getting sufficient sleep at night and taking downtime have been natural priorities for me for years. I know that feeling tired and worn down keep me from feeling good or doing my best at anything. So, since I was a young person, I have prioritized rest. Because I live in a capitalistic society, like the rest of us, it can sometimes feel like I am losing productivity. But in those moments, I remind myself that I want a balanced life, not just a productive one. I do not want to spend life just grinding towards a list of accomplishments. I also want to feel good on the journey and, for me, that means taking meaningful breaks.
“I Did” List
Some time back I started making an “I Did” list at the end of some of my days. I do this instead of, or in addition to, a “To Do” list. I realized I would often be overwhelmed by what felt like a never-ending “To Do” list. I would sometimes feel like I had been busy but somehow did not feel like I had done many of the things that I needed to do. I would get hyperfocused on what still needed to be done and it would feel stressful and daunting. So, now when I notice that overwhelmed, hopeless feeling, I do a mental checklist of the things I have actually managed to do recently. Taking the time to mindfully acknowledge those things can make me feel better and more accomplished than I realize.
Sometimes the “I Did” list includes half-finished or unplanned things. For example, I may give myself credit for starting something that I had been putting off. It may still technically be on my “To Do” list to finish but I did get started and it feels good to acknowledge the progress. I may also put an unplanned chat with a friend or family member on the list. It may not have been on the agenda but maintaining my relationships is important to me. So even though it took some time out of my day, noting it helps me to realize that it was not time “wasted”. If you decide to try it out, you can also put those every day things on the list that you may not regularly count. For instance, dropping off the kids at school or being at the office all day may not sound like a big deal but they took time out of your day and they got done. So, add them!
Doing the “I Did” list as a mental self care practice helps me gain perspective, give myself grace, and feel a little more accomplished. I acknowledge my gains, big and small, and feel less defeated by all the things that somehow still seem left to do at times.
These are a few of my current favorite self-care practices. Other honorable mentions include intentional socializing and exploring hobbies. As an introvert, I take care of myself by being intentional about connecting with community even when it is hard at times. I also make time for a creative outlet occasionally, which has been helpful even if I am not always great at it. I hope you are taking the time to consider what coping skills help you maintain balance and mental/emotional wellness as well.
